-13 wonderful (unfassbar) things from January-

Okay, fine. I confess. YES! I am procrastinating right now. But after an ENTIRE day of surviving the StaBi (again, public library), this time the one at Potsdamer Platz, I'd say I deserve a little ice cream and some down time. And not only that, but I used my wonderful new bike to get there. Jenni, your bike could not have fit me better. I love it, and although I am very sad that you are not in Berlin anymore, it's... well, it's amazing!

Here are thirteen pieces of my month that I want to share with you. In the spirit of German orderliness they are listed in order of how great they were and are in my mind. Enjoy partaking in my January, and, of course, my procrastination.

13) Campbell's soup.

Sold for the cheap price of 5 Euros on the gourmet floor of the KaDeWe. What a deal!

12) A Fortune.

On my way to the FU one day, a craving for greasy Chinese food prompted a spontaneous stop at the Asia Box. The food quality was, as expected, questionable. But it sufficed to suppress my craving for a good long while. The best part of my meal was the fortune cookie. The following is a rough English translation of my fortune:

"Your next Fortune-cookie fortune will undoubtedly come true"

Ha! I have never heard a greater fortune, and a better marketing technique. Kudos Asia Box.

11) My favorite German names.

One would not expect for "German names" to be so different from "American names". It is apparently a bit looked down upon to use names like Jenny or Kevin for one's children, since those cannot even try to sound German. I have met a lot of Anna's, a Lisa, a Katherina, a Nora, a Robert, a Thomas, a Steffen, etc. in my time here; these are all names that we have at home, that are just pronounced differently in German. There are some names, however, that could never be said "in American", for fear of just sound incredibly, well...

(female)

Wiebke, Elke, Ulrike, Helga, Dagmar, Jutta, Gisela,

Geraldina, Cordula

(male)

Helmut, Dieter, Tilo, Klaus, Günther, Detlef, Egbert,

Karsten, Hannes, Bernhardt

10) DOGS.

I have come to hate them. Particularly when I mistakenly step on the little gifts they leave behind ALL over the sidewalk (thank goodness it is all frozen right now). Although there are many rules in German society, one entire demographic group that is completely free of restrictions: Berliner dogs. They can ride the busses, take up seats in the subway, sit cozily in cafes, and poop anywhere they please. Granted, dogs here are particularly well-trained. But still! Here are some signs that are completely ignored by dog owners:

9) Animalspeak!

More on animals, these are the sounds that animals make in Germany. I wish I could make one grand list of animal noises in all languages all over the world - how cool is it that groups of peoples simply interpret the animal sounds differently? It gives me faith in the pluralism of cultures, as opposed to the westernization of everything.

cow - Muh (english: same)
sheep - Mäh (english: same)
duck - Naknak (english: quack quack)
frog - Quakquak (english: ribbit)
dog - Wauwau (english: woof)
horse - Wiehern (english: Naaaaaay, i think)
rooster - Kikeriki (english: cockeldoodledoo)
hen - Pokpokpok (english: same)
turkey - Googlegoogle (english: gobble gobble)
bird - Piep piep (english: chirp chirp)
pig - Oink oink (english: same)

8) "American-styled" things:

I do not know what associates these places with the USA. Okay, well I can understand the pizza. American pizza probably means huge, thin crusted, and cheesy. But nails? I'll let you know the next time I get a manicure.

7) A poem that I discovered on the door of a women's bathroom at the FU.

The question posed was, "Wem gehört das Wissen?" meaning, to whom does knowledge belong? I found the response quite clever.

Wem Gehört das Wissen?
Sorry, diese Frage klingt beschissen,
doch ich will dich nicht dissen,
sollst' eine Antwort nicht missen:
'Dem, der es erlangt, gehört das Wissen,
Doch sind Freiheit und Gleichheit des Erwerbs wohl prämissen.
Zufrieden oder entsetzlich verschissen?'

6) More on toilets:

My own toilet has been flushing just about once every fifteen minutes, just for fun. I have gotten used to it, but while describing my bathroom to my mother I realized all over again that this is quite a special bathroom. A very efficient use of space, shall we say. The flush-happy toilet is located right in the middle of the very skinny bathroom, in front of the shower so that you have to walk around it to actually get to the shower. You open the lid 180 degrees before use, and then you pull a little chain to flush it. A photo, at just about its cleanest moment all winter:

5) Cool cars in my neighborhood, that must be still in use because they are not always in the same spot every day:

4) "Soziale Laden"

On my way home from the Humboldt one day, I happened upon the greatest thrift shop in my neighborhood, if not Berlin (or the world). It is essentially a place where people donate junk and then the money they make off of it goes to some form of charity. Here is what I purchased the two times that I have been there:

A turquoise belt

A purple and white tie (for Robert)
6 small white egg-holders for breakfasts
A gorgeous red and brown vase that matches my room
A bright yellow insulated lunch bag with lemons on it
A Berlin souvenir shot glass
And (best for last) a drinking game! Complete with four shot glasses and a spinner that might require you to do strange things like exchange your shirt with the person to your left.

All for the incredible price of 4 Euros.

I know, junk is probably not wise to collect, but the prices are irresistible.

3) "Grüssen"

Grüssen is one of my favorite German traditions. It isn't actually a tradition in the sense that it happens once a year. In fact, it comes up in just about every single conversation that I have here. In English the verb grüssen means "to greet". It is used in the sense of "say hello to (insert name here) for me!" And people use it all the time. Sometimes I hear people run into each other in the U-Bahn and they say "Ah, Frau Schmidt, ich grüsse dich!" When my room mate Anna said goodbye to me before leaving for Colombia (in December), she gave me a long list of people to greet for her, including my parents, my sister, and Robert. There's always someone to give greetings to, and sometimes the greetings can show various aspect of one's relationship to someone. For instance, at the end of a formal letter one writes "Mit freundlichen Grüssen", which is far less personal than "Mit herzlichen Grüssen". And guys say it just as often as girls do. Jan, Nancy's son, signs off his text messages with "Liebe Grüsse!" I just love it; it gives the impression of everybody being so connected to one another.

2) "keine Getränke, keine Speise. Alles verboten!"

I could not talk about January without complaining about the German libraries, just one more time. No drinks, no food... everything is forbidden! This is what a proud-looking security guard said to me today, as I tried to sneak a bottle of water into the reading rooms with me. Well, are there any water fountains on the other side, I asked. There's a cafeteria. You can go there, but you cannot bring your books with you and the only water is for purchase. Hmmm... my goodness. How obnoxious and marvelous all at the same time.

1) My absolute favorite wonderful thing from January is a quote from Erika, something she wrote to me in an email:

"if paper writing is too much for you, you should type your paper up in english and then copy and paste the document into the translator at dictionary.com and then go through
the text to fix the grammar. Maybe that might make things easier?"

Erika, I love it. Can't say that my professors would love it as much as I do though! Thanks for the suggestion :-)